Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Hardest Things

My heart hurts.
We lost Sage's babies.
I was with her all weekend and she showed no signs at all.
She had them sometime Monday during the day.
Four.
Two were too tiny to have ever made it.
Words cannot express.

Things could have been worse.
Sage is fine and had them on her own.

I have been milking her, in hopes that Cocoa will start labor soon.
If Sage had four, Cocoa will have at least that many if not five.
Maybe I can get Sage to help with the mothering.

We have to get through two more days and then I have five off.
I check her two to three times a day and am there overnight.
We have to get this right.
We just have to.

I didn't want to tell you.

.

33 comments:

Chickadee said...

*HUGS*

Doesn't matter if they are human or animal, when you have a special bond, you ache over their losses and challenges.

Do not feel guilty,you're a good momma to them all.

Baur said...

Ah the best of luck to you hope it all goes well

Dom said...

I am so so sorry :(

Chai Chai said...

I am sorry for your loss.

becky3086 said...

So sorry to hear this. I hope the next ones turn out great for you.

TexWisGirl said...

four? is that anywhere near normal? i've heard twins and even triplets, but 4? oh my goodness!

and i am so sorry... hoping the next 'few' are strong and healthy...

Lori Skoog said...

I am sure this adds to your pain of not being able to live full time at the farm. So sorry for the loss you and Sage are feeling. Hopefully things go well and she can mother one of the other kids.

I know how much you love all your animals.

Jill said...

I am so very, very sorry. I know you did everything you could. It just wasn't meant to be. *HUGS

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

I'm so sorry, I know it's devastating. Here's hoping for 2 really healthy babies in the near future:@)

Deb said...

so sorry...I know that is hard for you...when we had goats I helped one deliver..she only had one...it was quite an experience...sending hugs your way..

Maura @ Lilac Lane Cottage said...

Oh Michaele I'm so sorry to read about the babies. You've had a lot on your plate lately...I've been reading backwards and you've had to deal with some heavy stuff. I hope at some point you get a good break from all this. Thursday is your first of 5 days off? I hope all goes well with the next birthing...I'll be thinking of you that's for sure. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Maura X

Sonya @ Under the Desert Sky said...

Oh, my goodness. I'm so, so sorry about Sage's babies. I hope Cocoa's baby/babies arrive safe and sound and that Sage can/will help with the mothering.

rkbsnana said...

Oh, I am heartbroken for you. Whew, what a busy place it will soon be, huh? Good luck.

Jennifer said...

OOoo no... I was gettin ready to shut my computer down & go to bed but for some reason decided to check in. This is so sad for everyone, sorry you all are goin through this & poor Sage. I'll pray for Cocoas babies tonight, that they arrive on time & perfect health & for Sage. If ya need to talk, just email me. Hugs to you all.

Annette said...

Sending you a big hug. Four tiny babies -- there's nothing you could have done. Like you said, they were too small to have ever made it. I hope it goes well with Cocoa. Your heart needs it to.

Marcia said...

Oh sooo sorry....so hard to lose them. 4 seems like a lot? Hopefully Cocoa will have some to share. I'm starting night checks with the sheep - will think of you :)

Chatty Crone said...

I am so very sorry - that is definitely a hit for you. I do hope that Cocoa will deliver and they can share their babies. sandie

Nancy J said...

You need to tell us all in blog land about sadness, joy, and all else.We share and care in your loss, and hope for Cocoa that all is well.Be assured, you have done your very best with them, and I hope Sage will be there to help with the next babies.Cheers from jean.

The Dancing Donkey said...

I am so sorry to hear this. It is just the kind of thing I worry about with my Emma. Since when she foals is so unpredictable I can't take too much time off work because if she holds out for a while I will run out of time off. It is so hard to juggle being the sole provider, caretaker and money earner. It is just so impossible to be everywhere you have to be. I hope all goes well for Cocoa and you can take some time to regroup. Try to take heart that at least Sage is ok.

Candy C. said...

I am so, so sorry Michaele. We love them all and feel so helpless when something goes wrong. I lost one of three kids recently and that was hard enough. {{HUGS}} for all of you.

Randy said...

I am so sorry to hear this. You are all in my thoughts.

Charlotte said...

I know this was a very difficult post to write. Best wishes with Cocoa.

Anne@A Little Fur in the Paint said...

I'm a new follower, so I had to catch up a little...I'm so sorry about these precious babies...bless your heart ~ ♥
Hugs,
Anne

Snooks said...

Aww so sorry. ((((Big hug))) I am sure that you took the best care of your little Sage and there was nothing you could have done. Sage is still ok. Focus on your next babies due. :'-(

@ 3Beeze Homesead

Niece said...

Oh Michaele....I'm so very sorry, my heart is sad for you and Sage. I think this is why I just have never got into having bred does....I just couldn't handle losing babies or moms and these things happen.

I hope the next ones will be healthy bouncing babies, they will help with the loss and keep u busy!

Nancy said...

Oh Michaele -- it's always so hard when things like this happen and we always want to blame ourselves and wonder what we should have done differently.

You are doing the best you can and that's all you can do. But it still hurts. xoxo

Buttons said...

Oh I know this is hard. Sometimes farming sucks. HUGS B

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! I had no idea they could have that many! I truly hope that things go well with Cocoa.

GardenofDaisies said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry. I'm glad she is OK. Sending you a hug.

Melodie said...

I am so sorry. I know that heartbreak...((hugs)).

DebH said...

Sorry to hear that. I had that happen last year with my nicest fainter doe...she was a month early though and was trying her hardest to make them all get up and eat, triplets. They each died in my arms. I cried myself silly and tried blaming myself daily. It just happens, it does. Do not blame yourself! Life just goes that way whether we like it or not.

Jocelyn said...

Oh no oh no! I'm SO sorry!

My heart hurts for you.

Buttons is right. Sometimes farming sucks.

Sending you good thoughts to help all of you heal.

Ashling said...

So terribly sad....